12 Questions You Should Ask Yourself When Faced With A Tough Decision In Life

When you are faced with a tough decision in life, you may feel paralyzed and at a loss as to what is best to do. When you are stressed, or trying to deal with a dilemma, you may question your own rationale, and worry that your final decision may not be wise.

When Faced With A Tough Decision In Life

There are certain questions you can ask yourself when making a difficult decision to find out if your reasoning is good, and if you have found a wise solution to your problem. Here are twelve of the best questions to guide you when you have to make a tough decision:

1. Does it matter?

Get honest with yourself about the decisions you spend too much time on that are not important. And remember, if you make a decision and no one gets upset, you just made a decision that doesn't matter.

2. If I don’t do this now, will I regret it?

It is sensible to consider the long-term implications of any decisions you make because you don’t want to end up doing something you will regret in the future. But it is equally important to consider what might happen if you don’t do something. Don’t let important opportunities pass you by because they involve making some big decisions. Ask yourself what you may gain, or lose, in the long-term by making certain choices.

3. What am I afraid of?

People often get stuck with decisions, because they are scared of what will happen if they make a choice. Some people are afraid of failure, but others are scared of success. Ask yourself whether fear is going to make this decision, or you are, when facing a tough decision in life.

4. What are the risks?

Any important decision you make has a risk factor. The risk is inescapable. It's at the core of real leadership. You can't make progress without taking risks. Write down the risks you see in play. Pray and seek wise counsel. Are there other alternatives to lessen the risk?. Evaluating the risk also requires the incredibly important factor of writing down the potential results of not taking the risk. Not taking the risk often seems safer at the moment, but in the long run, it is often disastrous for the church.

5. Do you know all that can be known?

When you know you have enough. Make a mental declaration, or a public one to your key leaders that "we have all the info we need." It's time to decide, so do we have a sense of the right decision? Do we have the wisdom we need? Again, like information, if you don't have the wisdom, get it from other sources. God lacks no wisdom; it is available if you ask.

6. What does my heart say?

Your gut instincts are often the right ones, and you should never make a decision that doesn’t resonate with you deep inside. Put aside convention, unwanted advice, and judgments from others, and ask yourself if this is something that you really want, something that speaks to you as only a heartfelt desire does.

7. What am I really doing this for?

The wisest decisions you can make are those that keep the end in mind. If your end goal is stability and raising a family, then making the big decision to buy a house, for example, might be a step closer to that. However, if you have goals such as seeing as much of the world as possible, purchasing a home might not fit in with your aims. Have your goals clearly in mind when making big decisions.

8. Who am I really doing this for?

Don’t let others’ agendas or advice sway you from making the right decision. It is always important to have others’ interests at heart when making a decision, but you shouldn’t always sacrifice your own needs and desires to please another person. Take a balanced look at how your choices will benefit you as well as others when facing a tough decision in life.

9. Does the decision require soak time?

There are a few decisions that even when you have all the information and wisdom, you still need some time to let it marinade. My practical advice is that you usually don't need long to decide. Sometimes a few days, maybe a few weeks, on rare occasions a few months. Take the time you need to soak and pray. Make sure you know God's mind, but your decision is not a mystery to God and if it's about His work, He's not likely to withhold from you. If it's an issue of timing, you can still make the decision and put a date on when you activate the decision.

10. Will I like myself after this decision?

Anyone can make a difficult decision that ticks all the boxes in terms of a solution, without taking into account how that decision may make them feel about themselves. If you make a decision that is callous or uncaring, you might not end up liking yourself very much. If you make one that is unassertive, your self-esteem is likely to drop. Consider how you will feel about yourself for making this choice, whenever you have to make a tough decision in life.

11. Can I cope with the fall-out?

Choices are like a dynamo. When you make one decision, it paves the way for other situations to occur, which you will then have to deal with. Making a tough decision in life can have many ramifications. Taking certain paths can affect your finances, your relationships, your friendships and your career. Think things through, and decide whether you will be able to cope with the consequences of your decision, and how you will deal with the fall-out.

12. What can you do to increase your confidence?

Confidence is the bottom line in decision-making. You have your information, and you know what to do. But you don't make the move. Perhaps you need to release a staff member (or key volunteer) from the team. No one wants to do that and we all fear the potential fallout to some degree. Yet, it is often the case that not making the decision is actually worse. If you lack confidence, get quiet time with God. Be still before Him. Lay the information and wisdom before Him and ask for courage. He grants it! Think about it. It's His church, His problem, and His Kingdom. You are His servant carrying out His will, why would He withhold the necessary courage.

Updated on 19 January 2017.